AutomaticSlim - The
“Alpha” Omega
Hello again gentlemen!
I have noticed
that there may be a few new commenters on this site, so allow me to introduce
myself. I’ve known
Jim and many of
the others here from ROK, AKC, RC and perhaps a few other sites for about 3
years now. Without
getting into
too many details, let me say that my way of going through life is somewhat
“non-traditional”. And at
least part of the reason for this is due to my experiences
as a child and teenager. In this “series” I am trying to do,
I will be
giving advice to fathers of what to do and what not to do in order to help your
son avoid many of the traps
I fell into.
Feel free to ask questions if you like and I’ll try to answer them, although I
usually post replies on 2nd shift.
The Grade School Years.
In my last post I wrote about
the types of things that could happen if a father lets his wife take the lead
in raising his son.
This type of parenting will
make it much easier for your son to be the target of bullies when he enters
grade school. Why?
Because the constant bullying
that his mother subjects him to will make him used to being bullied and bossed
around. And
the kids at school will home in
on this very quickly. It is your job as a father to step in and reverse this
course. Remember,
the longer you wait, the more
difficult the job will become.
Young kids just seem to have an
instinct to know who to pick on. It’s probably something genetic and due to
human
evolution. The drive to stamp
out the weak. Sounds cruel and to a certain extent it is, but one thing is for
sure. It will
NEVER end. The SJW/PC types can start all the anti-bullying
initiatives they like, but it will never end. Here are some
tips for you to find out if your son is being bullied, and what to do if
this is happening.
- Are you talking to your son? Asking about his day at
school, what he did at recess, who his friends are?
Most boys will not come right out and tell
you that he is being picked on. He will think you will be
ashamed of him for being weak. He’ll keep it
bottled up and “take it like a man”. Don’t wait for him
to come to you. Try to make some time to
talk to your son everyday, preferably away from your wife.
It is your job to monitor his progress, and
you will not be able to do this if you don’t have meaningful
conversations with him. TBH, I cannot think of
one meaningful conversation I ever had with my father.
It’s a real shame too, because he had a lot
he could have passed on to me.
- OK, so you’ve done the first step and found out that
your son is being picked on or isolated. What to do now?
Well, what you certainly SHOULDN’T do is go
to the school and complain. This will serve no purpose but to
embarrass the kid and open him up to more
taunting. It really amazes me how parents today think this is a
viable solution. I actually feel LUCKY I
didn’t have parents like this (mine just didn’t give a crap – which
is not good but better than helicopter
parents). What you have to do is train the boy to not be a victim, and
you do
this by increasing his both his mental and physical strength, and also by
making him feel useful and
worthwhile.
o To make your son feel useful and
worthwhile, give him some jobs around the house. Teach him how
to
fix leaky faucets, mow the lawn, trim the hedges or paint the house. Teach him
how to change a tire.
A young boy who can “do things” will know
that he is not worthless.
o Get him involved
in strength training on a regular basis. He may be too young for weights, but
he is not
too
young for body weight exercises and running. Even better if you get him to wake
up early and exercise
with
you. Of course you are exercising, right?
o Get him into a
good fight training program outside of school. Boxing, martial arts, MMA, or
whatever.
Will get him used to being hit and hitting
back in a controlled environment.
o As your son
grows stronger and more able to defend himself, teach him how to counter
bullies. Match
wise cracks with astute counter attacks.
Bully has big ears? Make fun of his ears. Bully is bad at school?
Make fun of him for being stupid. And if it
comes to a fight, make sure your son catches the bully alone,
and
not on school grounds. Teach him that hanging in during a fight, getting your
shots in and losing is
almost
as good as winning. The bully will know that your son is no longer a pushover
and will leave him
alone.
Again, these types of conversations must take place between you and your son
WITHOUT the
presence of your wife.
o As
your son grows more confident, make sure that he is on sports teams in school
(in addition to the fight
training above). It is very important as it
will teach your son how to interact with the other boys. The type
of
sport is not important, as long as he is doing the fight and strength training.
If he’s not into the “big four”,
then
maybe swimming, track, tennis, or even bowling or golf (something I criticize
here quite a bit, but will
be advantageous as an adult). The important thing
here is that he is part of a team and learning about being
a good
teammate.
The bottom line is that you have to take an active role in raising your son and monitoring his progress. This is even more
important if your son has
characteristics that will make him look different. Too skinny. Too fat. Too
short. Whatever.
Work on his building his
strength and abilities and confidence will follow. This is your job and it is
best to start it as
early as possible. In future
posts I’ll talk about what happens down the line if you are negligent in this
most important task.
- Slim
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