Steering The Ship - By J. Nyx



Note from the Author
Its been a while since I’ve written a blog post.  The last real one was right before my old site, the now defunct A King’s Castle, went kaput.  That said, I’m sure some hazing is going to happen but I hope that doesn’t stop you from reading the rest

It’s 8am, and in the Nyx household there are about 500 things going on.  Kids need to be dressed and ready for school.  My wife is getting dinner ready for the crock pot.  My son needs to make sure he has his football gear ready for after school.  I’m looking over my calendar and planning my work day.  Our 3 year old cant find his shoes.  Any of you guys with families will know how this routine can go. 

One morning I had a horrible allergy attack and felt like absolute shit.  I was irritable to say the least.  Everything was pissing me off and I was kind of nasty to everyone.  Its out of my character, as I’m pretty chill most of the time.  That said, me being on edge caused something to happen to my family

Things that they’d normally have no problem doing without direction seemed impossible.  The same chores my kids do day in and day were half assed. My wife was flustered and had to return after she left to get her keys she forgot.  I was late getting out the door and forgot my lunch, cursing and acting like an animal. 
I don’t want to use being sick as a crutch or excuse for my behavior.  They all look to me to steer the ship.  A ship without a captain is destined to sink, and that’s what was happening.  Once I got to work I realized that I was the one causing anxiety.  A guy losing his shit is the last thing a woman and children want to be around.  I vowed to myself to keep my cool in the mornings, despite what happens.

The next day I did just that and everyone seemed to be normal.  We got out of the house in a nice calm mood and everyone had a great day, myself included.

Take Aways
You’ve seen it yourselves.  A man flipping out and losing his shit in front of his family.  Next time it happens look at the woman and children’s faces.  It’s a look of fear.  One I don’t want to give to my family over trivial things. 
We have to be an example for how our families are to act.  You can look at failed marriages or drug addicted kids and its pretty clear that a house without a true father figure is the source of dysfunction.  Not always the case sure, but it can be an indicator.
If you feel yourself losing your shit in front of your family, take a step back.  Take a walk outside for a minute or get a glass of water.  Remove yourself from the emotional/tense setting, pause and go back with a level head.  I’ve been doing this in all areas of my life and its been helping.
One day I’ll be an old man who is retired with no kids in the house.  The hustle of the day will be gone. From what I’ve learned from people older than me with kids is that you’ll one day miss just how important these times were, and I don’t want to let those memories slip by right in front of me.

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