Gentlemen vs. Simps

Take a look at the two photos of men tipping their hats. There is not much difference on the outset. They are pretty much doing the same thing. But, you can easily discern a difference. One is behaving like a simp, and another is being a gentleman.

It appears that the older gentleman has more experience, more status, more testicular fortitude. The guy on the top looks like a mealy millennial who is acting a certain way because he is compelled to do so. That in a nutshell, is the difference between a gentleman and and a simp. If a man is demonstrating chivalry because they are compelled to do so, they are a simp. If a man is demonstrating chivalry out of genuine kindness and courtesy, they are a gentleman.

I remember once having a conversation with a guy who said he bought his wife flowers on a weekly basis. As it turned out, his wife lost respect for him and eventually divorced him. He did not understand why. The reason was his wife grew to expect those flowers, and with the flowers, I could imagine lots of "yes ma'am" type behavior. He thought he was being a gentleman. In his wife's view, he was being a simp.

How can you be a gentleman without being a simp? First off, stop being a simp. You can treat your wife kindly, but treat her fairly. If she is taking charge and ordering you around, don't put up with it. You are not her workhorse. You help out and be kind because you want to. If she nags at you, politely stand your ground or go away for some time until she changes her attitude. If she demands that you open the door for her, don't. If she is being snotty and entitled, she does not deserve the kind treatment.

However, if you are a high status individual, and she looks up to you, by all means be the gentleman. Jammy has often talked about how when playing songs, he can use the most simpish language and women will absolutely melt over it. The Beatles were like that. Women would go absolutely gaga over them when they sing lame tunes like "I want to hold your hand". The difference? The Beatles already demonstrated high status. Their kindness was the choice of the man, not the demands of a woman. By showing courtesy, they are bringing a woman up to their level of status, not groveling down below a woman's perceived status.

A woman's perceived status is tough to work around. For years, the Disney princesses and sexual attention and sexual experience has inflated her ego. She may have gotten a career or at least a college education. She may be a 8 or 9 on the SMV curve. The more inflated her ego becomes, the more difficult it will be to show courtesy with her actually appreciating it. For this reason, I do not recommend long term relationships with women more than two points above your own. One thing you can do is be brutally honest with her. Answer "Does this dress make me look fat?" with, "Yeah, it's not a good look." Overcome and pass shit tests. Beat her in competitions, show her you can easily overpower her. With her artificially high opinion of herself, take it down a notch. I'm not saying to be mean and belittle her, just prove to her you are stronger, smarter, and more capable than her. If you can't out-compete her, you may need to find someone you can out compete with before you sign the papers and open yourself up to getting divorce raped in the future.

When opening the door, you may be asking yourself if you are being a simp or a gentleman. One good test would be to not do it the next time. If she stands there at the door and demonstrates negative behavior because you wouldn't go out of your way for her, you are a simp. If she opens the door and holds it open for you, you are a gentleman and you have a cohesive relationship. If she expects you to pay for dinner, but does little in return to show appreciation, you are a simp. If you pay for dinner and then she offers to make you food next time or she pays for the play tickets, you are a gentleman, and you have a good relationship. IMO, sex does not count. Sure, it is nice, but if she likes you, it is something she wants anyway. If she gives you sex as some sort of favor in return for your generosity, not only are you still a simp, she is now a whore. Sex should be a mutual desire, outside the bounds of any perceived obligations.

Be the man of the relationship. Be courteous, not because you feel like you have to, but because you want to.

Like Teddy Roosevelt, You got to be a man before you can be a gentleman.