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| Amy back when she had options |
It’s Practically Impossible To Find A Man Who Wants To Commit But Doesn’t Want Kids
I’ve finally figured out one of the huge issues in my
dating life: I’m seeking the kind of man who unfortunately exists only
in a small and very specific category. Here’s why I can’t seem to find what I’m looking for.
1. A lot of men are afraid of commitment.
I’ve never understood what the big deal is, but OK. There’s honestly no good reason I can think of for a man to hate the idea of a relationship unless he’s an a-hole. By not wanting to commit, he’s basically saying he’s waiting for something better to come along. There’s no way I’m settling for that kind of guy.
I’ve never understood what the big deal is, but OK. There’s honestly no good reason I can think of for a man to hate the idea of a relationship unless he’s an a-hole. By not wanting to commit, he’s basically saying he’s waiting for something better to come along. There’s no way I’m settling for that kind of guy.
It isn't commitment we are afraid of, it is your lack of commitment (demonstrated by your riding the carousel) that will manifest in divorce rape.
2. The grass is always greener to them.
For the guys who don’t want to settle down, they can’t understand why they should commit. What does it matter? They don’t want to have a family so they don’t have to stick to only one woman. They want to be free to roam as they please, the feelings of other human beings be damned.
For the guys who don’t want to settle down, they can’t understand why they should commit. What does it matter? They don’t want to have a family so they don’t have to stick to only one woman. They want to be free to roam as they please, the feelings of other human beings be damned.
You are old, you are a feminist, you are a slut that can't get any any more attention from the top guys. A successful guy your age can get a cleaner, younger, hotter woman THAT DOESN'T HAVE VAGINAL WARTS. Yes, the grass is greener than your used up body and destroyed personality.
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4. If they are into commitment, it’s because they want to settle down and start a family.
This is my huge problem. I’m attracted to men who aren’t afraid to show their feelings and be in a monogamous relationship with one woman. I’m attracted to emotional maturity. Unfortunately, I find that especially as I get older, the men who operate this way also want children. I definitely don’t.
This is my huge problem. I’m attracted to men who aren’t afraid to show their feelings and be in a monogamous relationship with one woman. I’m attracted to emotional maturity. Unfortunately, I find that especially as I get older, the men who operate this way also want children. I definitely don’t.
You are attracted to "emotional maturity", someone who looks at you for more than sex, huh. You want a trustworthy, honest, handsome, wealthy man huh? Children is the only reason a man has left to get married. Feminists removed each and every other reason. If you won't provide that, you are absolutely no use to a that man. Any man who has his stuff together can do far better. Any man who doesn't have his stuff together can do better by being alone than to be with a leach who doesn't want to fulfill her traditional role, but wants the traditional perks.
5. There’s hardly any middle ground.
I’m in the middle but I have a very difficult time finding a man who feels the same. It’s black and white with them. Their main concern is sex, so why would they decide to sleep with only one woman for the rest of time if not obligated? The only way they seem to want to do that is if they want marriage and a family, and even then they often can’t stick to it.
I’m in the middle but I have a very difficult time finding a man who feels the same. It’s black and white with them. Their main concern is sex, so why would they decide to sleep with only one woman for the rest of time if not obligated? The only way they seem to want to do that is if they want marriage and a family, and even then they often can’t stick to it.
"Their main concern is sex".....No, a guy's main concern is trustworthiness and family. You are providing neither, you don't deserve his end of the bargain if you won't provide your end of the bargain. Kids, or no kids. Yup, no middle ground. It is like a light switch. Either on or off.
6. Finding a guy who’s cool with long-term monogamy and no kids is like finding a unicorn.
It seriously is. I’m in my thirties so the whole settling-down-and-starting-a-family thing is way more of an issue when I date now. I’ve never wanted children and I’m not going to change my mind. I find that most men I meet now feel the opposite.
It seriously is. I’m in my thirties so the whole settling-down-and-starting-a-family thing is way more of an issue when I date now. I’ve never wanted children and I’m not going to change my mind. I find that most men I meet now feel the opposite.
What is in it for him? A 50% gamble of losing half your life savings, and only 50% of the "successful" long term marriages being pleasant? That 75% rate of failure is a mighty high risk for having a "companion". You describe yourself as a feminist, that means you are going to be hesitant to cook a good meal, to keep the house clean, to not be competitive (aka bitchy) 90% of the time. Best for him to keep his money and free time.
7. Some men just don’t want to commit to me.
I’m a strong woman. I know what I deserve and I won’t settle for less. I meet a good number of guys who can’t handle this. Obviously if they can’t hang, I don’t want them anyway, but it’s getting very frustrating and discouraging. Where are the grown men? I can’t seem to find any. It doesn’t matter if they’re younger, older, single, divorced, whatever. They run away.
I’m a strong woman. I know what I deserve and I won’t settle for less. I meet a good number of guys who can’t handle this. Obviously if they can’t hang, I don’t want them anyway, but it’s getting very frustrating and discouraging. Where are the grown men? I can’t seem to find any. It doesn’t matter if they’re younger, older, single, divorced, whatever. They run away.
"Grown men" figured out who you (and women like you) are like, and are staying clear.
8. The rest are only interested in wifing me up.
If they want to commit to me, it’s because they see a tough, smart woman who is capable of starting and raising a family with them. The big problem there is obviously that I have no intention of ever doing so. My biggest pet peeve is a man who is attracted to me and then tries to convince me that I will change my mind about kids because that’s what he wants. Nope!
If they want to commit to me, it’s because they see a tough, smart woman who is capable of starting and raising a family with them. The big problem there is obviously that I have no intention of ever doing so. My biggest pet peeve is a man who is attracted to me and then tries to convince me that I will change my mind about kids because that’s what he wants. Nope!
See #4
9. Men don’t want to accept that I know what I want.
It’s incredibly insulting. I hate that I live in a world where a large majority of guys think they can mansplain to me about what I really want for my own damn life. Give me a break. You don’t know me and you certainly can’t tell me how I feel. You aren’t going to change my mind about kids, period.
That is because you don't know what you want. We have seen your articles. See #4. Also, do you accept what they want?
10. If I finally do meet a guy who feels the same, he ends up running away.
I don’t get excited often but when I do, I get very excited. I can’t help it. It’s so rare that I meet a guy who I have a lot in common with and share chemistry with as well. I want it to work out so badly and unfortunately, it never does. It turns out that the guys I pick aren’t emotionally mature enough to date me. Great.
See #2 You are a pump and dump, they tell you they feel the same until they get tire of your crap."Emotionally mature"????? You want a guy to commit to you and give you resources, but you don't want to commit children to him. Just what are you willing to give to him in return, your company? LOL
11. It’s very frustrating to need something this specific.
It’s tough because on top of all the other specific things I want, I’m effectively eliminating the majority of the male population right off the bat. I have a small pool to draw from and then I also have to find someone I actually like and share interests with who is cool with committing to me.
In another 5 years and you get into menopause, maybe you can find a guy who will be willing marry you. However, he will marry you for your money. Video games doesn't pay that well.
12. I hate it when guys try to date me even if we don’t want the same things.
This is obnoxious. Their intentions usually aren’t bad, but I need a guy who’s realistic. It’s a huge sign of emotional immaturity if a man commits to me in the hopes that I’ll change my mind about something to which I’m clearly strongly opposed. Don’t lead me on and let me develop feelings. If someone doesn’t want what I want he should leave me alone.
Your expectations are crazy. You want an orbiter to support you, who is "emotionally mature" Good luck with that.
13. I just want to meet my person already but he’s so tough to find.
Maybe I should create a dating site specifically for people who want long-term relationships but don’t want children, I don’t know. What’s it going to take to find the right guy? It’s not like I have time to go out trolling for dudes 24/7. I’m a busy woman. What if I never meet anyone? I’ll survive, but it’s undeniable that my specific needs make everything about my dating life more difficult.
There was a time he would have been easy for you to find. See #2.You ignored the incels when they wanted sex from you. Guys are ignoring the femcels like you when you want commitment from them.
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| Amy Horton when she is out of options |
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