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My son will turn 16 this year, which is the age he will get to start dating. While I am out of the dating scene, there are many rules suggested by the church to help our youth from making life changing mistakes during this time, many of which may be useful for your kids as they go through this phase.
1) No dating until you are 16.
Kids who are too young are far more likely to be manipulated into doing things they normally wouldn't if they have more self confidence. This takes time. On the other hand, waiting until they are 18 will minimize the watchful protection of you as a parent. Chaperoned dances are fine at 14.
2) From 16 until college/mission, double dates and group dates. At an early age, dates should be more of exploring your interests and seeing what kinds of girls interest you. As you go out, learn proper etiquette and how to conduct yourself to gain the skills necessary for when the time comes to find the one you want to marry. This phase is more about learning about yourself than finding a girlfriend. Keep the dates intentional (not "hanging out") but avoid becoming overly attached to a certain individual when you cannot take on the responsibility of a family yet. Play the field and date many different girls during the early years.
3) Follow the Mike Pence rules. Avoid being alone with her (date in public settings), home by 11 PM, no alcohol, no laying down beside her, dress modestly.....etc. Lust is a real thing, and taking some measures to be safe goes a long way to avoid any impropriety or false accusations.
4) Keep the dates inexpensive and light. With big dollar costs comes feelings of commitment, or hurt feelings if things don't work out. Don't spend so much that you feel they owe you anything. Do things that are active and enable interaction. Frisbee in park > dinner and movie. If she thinks you are cheap because you keep it below $20, she is not interested in you, neither should you be interested in a user like that.
5) Make dating a priority. After joining the church, a friend and I did this routine of double dates. We would figure out some activity, plan it for two weeks ahead or so, then ask girls out. I would just approach a girl from church and say "Hey, Whats your name? I'm Jim. Brian and I were going to do a double date next Saturday afternoon, we were going to make sandwiches have a picnic in the park and go to the railroad museum, do you want to be my date? I'm not sure who he is inviting yet." It worked like a charm, probably 50% positive response. It was fun to see who could get the better looking date.
You can remove the pressure off a 1 on 1 date with someone she doesn't know in a private setting by making it a double date activity in a planned, public event, and she will feel safer and more willing to accept. After 2-3 double/group dates, trust was built then you could pair off more and have more private settings. Both of us found our wives through those double dates.
6) Keep sex off the table. Yeah, premarital sex is great for the short term, but it does make problems for those wanting a traditional family. It complicates the dating process. One of the bigger problems is it keeps women from committing until her market value drops. A young horny woman will want to marry you in her early 20's if that is what it takes for her to get sex. Find a girl that will want to stay pure until her wedding night and was virtuous when you met her, and you found someone who is a viable candidate for your commitment, and someone that will want to marry in her early 20's.
7) Mike Pence rules apply until you come out of the temple as husband and wife. During our courting (going steady) phase, this was tough. I was 28, she was 23 and we were very much attracted to each other. Our first kiss was her first kiss. Still, I always had her home by 11, even in college with no supervision. When I visited her family, I slept at her grandma's house. When she visited my family, I slept out in the yard. There were a few times that we grinded or made out more than we should have, but we made it.
One of the biggest arguments against this is "You gotta take a test drive before you buy the car". The thing is, people change. A woman who is great in bed now will probably not be in 20 years. She probably learned to use sex as a manipulative tool with other guys. The opposite is also true, a woman who saves herself for marriage will associate pair bonding with sex and will be more intimate with you throughout the years as she views it as a positive experience, without memories of guilt or remorse like other women have.
8) Dating doesn't end after marriage. The church recommends every Friday night. We go out about once a month, nothing spectacular, but we will go dancing, to the temple, a drive in the mountains, or see a dollar theater movie. We used to trade babysitting with some friends of ours, but now the older kids can babysit the younger kids.
