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| By Jackie Dever |
https://www.bolde.com/what-a-guy-wants-in-a-girlfriend/
Every woman can be girlfriend material if she wants to be. At the end of the day, guys really aren’t asking for the impossible. Like you, they just want to find a lasting connection with a great partner. Here are the important qualities a guy looks for in a girlfriend. (Spoiler: you probably want most of the same things from him!)
1. Attraction
He wants to think you’re really hot! He wants to think your body is as smokin’ as your brilliant mind. Yes, if he’s going to be a one-woman man, he really does want to believe you’re the most stunning woman in the room. Physical attraction gets a bad rap but there’s nothing superficial about responding to visual cues and having aesthetic preferences. That’s human nature. Contrary to what media tells us, guys think women of all types are beautiful. Find the guy who can’t take his eyes off you exactly as you are.
Yes, except the "Guys think women of all types are beautiful" part. Fat women are not beautiful. 20% is best, 40% is the upper limit for most guys. (Although some thirsty individuals will harpoon a whale)
2. Shared interests.
When you’re just hooking up, sizzling chemistry is enough. But he’ll look for a girlfriend who has some similar hobbies and activities as well. A relationship is about more than the initial spark. It’s about finding somebody interesting enough to commit to. So why not give a second look to that cutie in your book club or soccer league?
Shared interests is not as important as a willingness to do what he wants. So you both like sports, great, but if you are not willing to go boating with him, that will be an issue.
4. Independence
A guy wants a girlfriend with mutual interests but he also wants a girlfriend who marches to her own beat. Connect with him but take time to focus on yourself. Join a cause or schedule a regular girls-only brunch to remind him that you’re a confident, independent woman.
Wrong, independent is not what a guy wants. Sure, we want a woman to be able to change a tire on her own, but this notion of "girls-only" activities is a huge red flag. It sends the signal that she is not trustworthy and may step out in the future.
5. Success
There is no single definition of making it in the world. He probably doesn’t care whether you earn six figures or make ends meet. He just wants to know you’re running your own life, taking care of yourself, and always striving to improve. So make a plan, dream big, and put your best into everything you do. You’ll be more attractive to him but most important, you’ll improve your own life.
Wrong again. Successful men who will be more than able to have his wife stay home full time and take care of their kids, will prefer that they stay home clean the house, and cook good dinners. If she works as the checkout girl, that is just fine. However, if she spent years building a career that she would be hesitant to give up, a successful guy will look for the checkout girl. If one person is able to afford a comfortable living for the family, why add to the stress?
6. Spontaneity
As a relationship gets more serious, consistency and dependability become super important. But especially in the beginning, he wants a partner who won’t make things feel too serious or routine. Commitment can still feel exciting if he knows you’re down for last-minute road trips and midday make-out sessions.
Spontaneous activities are great, but if she insists on going on a random trip with the girls, she will be better off single. If she neglects the household chores while he was at work because she wanted to do something, this is a problem. Be spontaneous, don't be a flake.
7. Humor
A guy doesn’t necessarily seek a woman out because she understands the depths of his soul. But he definitely looks for a girlfriend who can make him laugh. Here’s the big secret: sharing a sense of humor is a great predictor of being able to communicate about deeper issues as well. Don’t be afraid to keep it light. Share some inside jokes and crack up at comedies. He’ll learn more about you than either of you might realize.
Have humor, but please nothing crass or insulting. Being loud and rude is not feminine. Nobody wants to pull your finger. A woman's humor should never compete with the mans.
8. Open-mindedness
He wants to know that you can see different points of view or try new things without becoming judgmental. From unique cuisines to complex philosophical ideas, show him you welcome opportunities to keep expanding your understanding. The world is a big, exciting place. Let him know that sharing it with you will be an adventure.
Depends on what yo mean by open mindedness. If it is something he thinks is uncomfortable leave it at that. Most women today think open-mindedness only pertains to the radical left ideas. Be open to the time tested traditions of our ancestors. Be open to the idea that new ideas put out by society are rarely the better ideas.
9. Loyalty
Every guy wants to feel safe and loved. He wants a girlfriend who totally has his back. That doesn’t mean you have to endorse his every move or stand by him when you know he’s wrong. Just look for everyday ways to communicate that you’re on his side. Don’t gossip about him. Stand up for him when his bros make a mean joke at his expense. Prove you’re a woman he can trust.
"Every guy wants to feel safe and loved"......screw you. We are not some lost puppy.
What we do want is to know you won't shoot us in the back when we put our trust in you. We don't want you to badmouth us to your girlfriends. We don't need you to stand up for him when his bro's make a mean joke (that is doubling down on the insult if you swoop in to protect him). We don't need you to "communicate" that you are on our side, rather SHOW him that you are on his side by going along with his suggestion. Actions speak louder than words.
10. Emotional intelligence
Dealing with conflict, disappointment, and other struggles are all a huge part of being a couple. So naturally, men adore empathetic, self-aware women. How do you show these traits during the early stages? Be honest about what you need in a partner from the moment you two start to define the relationship. And then listen openly to his needs too.
Logic and honesty over nagging and complaining.
11. Flaws
Honestly, if you’re always presenting as invulnerable, he might admire you but he won’t connect with you. Do your best to be your complete self, flaws and all. Those moments when you’re not your very best will let him see your humanity and give him a chance to support you.
This is all about honesty. Everyone puts up a good show at the start, but if your facade is so radical that you come off as an entirely different person, we tend to wonder what else you are hiding. Better to move on, rather than really get hurt later down the road.
Conclusion
This writer batted 60%. She knows some things that guys want, but does not see the feminist indoctrination that clouded her viewpoint. As time goes on, and as high value men who want to marry become more of a rarity, we will see more articles like this for women to try to improve themselves. It's a good start, anyway.
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