3. They use ultimatums to get their way.
You may have been there. You are hanging out, having a good time, and she asks if she can go to the bar with her college girlfriends. You tell her you are uncomfortable with the idea. She is already prepared for your response, because she immediately tells you that you are abusive and controlling, and if you don't let her go, she will break up with you. You are getting tired of this, because she has done this 4 times already and you known her for only a month.
This stubborn and threatening behavior is manipulative. She is unwilling to compromise, she won't go with you, just her trashy friends. Maybe it is time you take her up on her ultimatum and let her go.
The trick is to know when she is really serious about the situation, or if she is only using ultimatums for petty reasons to get her way. If she tells you if she ever catches you cheating, she will leave, that is not really an ultimatum. That is just a statement of fact. However, if she says "Make me a peanut butter sandwich or I'm breaking up with you", then it is an ultimatum, and a serious red flag. Time to break up with her.
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