There are charities like the Red Cross, or Salvation Army. There is also charity within the heart, meaning an unselfish love for people. We have charity for our children, we should have charity for our wives, and more broadly, we should have charity for people in society.
Last week, I discussed following the commandments. We have a set of rules we need to live by in order to have a cohesive family and society. But what happens when our wives and children inevitably break those rules? We need to have charity and forgiveness. Nobody is perfect and everyone in your life will mess up at times and say or do things they shouldn't, hurting you, themselves, and the ones you love. You are no better, you will mess up and hurt those around you as well. Christ showed us the example of forgiveness when he uttered on the cross, "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do." While we may not be lifted up and nailed to a wooden post, we may be deeply hurt by others at times. Even if we need to separate ourselves from them for self preservation, or the preservation of those we love, we still should forgive them in time, for our own sanity. Continuing to hold hatred towards others will only hurt yourself.
For the smaller offenses, like harsh words, or maybe inconsiderate actions, we need to have that charitable love towards them. We may be offended, feel taken advantage of, or hurt in some other way. Not that you have to "get over it", but you do not need to fire back and make sure they have retribution. Doing so will only escalate matters and create more pain.
There is a short quip in the church publication. The church President at the time was being wheeled in a hospital gurney for some throat surgery he was going through. In a moment of frustration, a hospital orderly took the name of the Lord in vain. President Kimball replied "Please!, Please! That is my Lord whose names you revile." After a deathly silence, then a subdued voice whispered, "I am sorry".
In dealing with my kids, I used to have a much stronger hand. I spanked them when they were out of line, mouthing off, being too rough on their younger siblings or directly defying me. Then one day, I went too far IMO. I wrote about it some time back, my son was picking on his 2 year old brother quite harshly and I flew off the handle. For the following year, we had a strained combative relationship, not something I was proud of, and not something I was happy with. I haven't vowed to stop spanking them, but I have relaxed my policy quite a bit. In time, our relationship has healed, but it doesn't always work out that way.
The Apostle Paul said, "Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh nor her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil". If you love your wife and kids, you need to look for the best in them, and love them. Even if you need to separate yourself from them in divorce, or kick the kid out for getting into drugs and being violent, you can still love them. If you have to visit them in prison and pray that he overcomes his addictions, or move on with your life after divorce, you still need to forgive. Much bitterness in the world comes from an inability to forgive. Let go of the hate, the petty reasons to be offended, and deal with issues as best you can, 'for they know not what they do'.
Assignment: If there is anyone you harbor bad feelings for, contact them if possible, or pray for them and pray for peace and forgiveness if not possible. Volunteer for some act of service in your community, and/or make an effort to meet your neighbors. Repeat as often as practical.
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