Women - Embrace Your Femininity

 

Throwing Away Your Femininity Does Not Portray Strength

This article is for the few women who lurk on this site. Nevertheless, I think it is something we all need to know and appreciate. For years, We’ve heard a version of “I can do it just as well as a man can” in various ways in all sorts of venues. The question I want to ask is why? Why do you as a woman want to do it like a guy? 

I’m an engineer by trade. There are three individuals under me in my department. My cubicle is not very interesting, there are calendars and charts and paperwork everywhere. While I am friendly with my coworkers, I have to maintain a professional attitude and distance from them as I carry out my work during the day. 

Next to my computer is a picture of my wife and kids. While not huge, it is something I can look at from time to time and remind myself why I am going through the grind. It is this touch of femininity within what would be a cold and lifeless office space, for which I appreciate. 

After I finish work, one of my male coworkers drives me home. He doesn’t say much, we listen to a hard rock station for the 40 mile trip home. Then when I get home, I am usually greeted by the 4 and 8 year olds running up to give my a hug, then I walk into the kitchen and my wife will give me a hug and a kiss in a very warm manner. I will tease her about this or that, and she will ask how my day went. Chatting with her as she is finishing up making dinner is one of my favorite times of day. 

I hear on the internet about guys coming home to nagging wives, wives who want nothing but to compete with their own husbands, wives who go around with a chip on their shoulders like they have something to prove. Frankly, I really feel bad for those guys who end up married to them. Work and dealing with the world is tiring enough, why you’ll you want to come home to more of that? 

Recently, my wife has set a daily goal to greet me with a warm kiss and a smile when I get home. It may not seem like much, but it really sets the mood for the evening. I feel loved and appreciated, she brightens her mood, and I am more likely to return that love and appreciation to her. 

There are a few women that lurk on this site, and for them, I want to tell you, stop competing. You as a woman have so much to contribute as a woman. Sex is great, but it is not everything. A warm home cooked meal, a tidy house with interesting home made things to look at and remind us of the soft and lovely things in life. The way we can have the fun banter that can only men and women together have, all of this is unique to a good couple relationship. 

Ladies, wear a dress or skirt. It doesn’t have to be revealing, but wear something that shows you are happy with who you are as a woman . A simple, clean outfit and a feminine demeanor is very attractive and inviting to a man. My wife will typically wear a calf length skirt, flats (she is 5’11”) and a tee shirt or sweater, depending on weather. She will put on a proper dress if we are going out or going to church. 

Have makeup as the exception, not the rule. No need to paint yourself up constantly and cover up who you are. However, I do like my wife to wear it sometimes if I’m taking her out for a date for instance. It serves as a reminder that this is a special evening. But too much too often puts out the signal that you are not comfortable with who you are, or that you are trying to hide something. 

Learn to cook well. Any guy loves coming home to a good meal. I appreciate my wife taking the time to learn how to make the less fattening foods taste better. Be healthy with food. Decorate the home with soft, inviting decor. We may not show much appreciation for a heart shaped poem hung up on the wall with a family photo, but those things do not go unnoticed. It makes the home feel warm, and a place we want to come to at the end of the day.

Be patient with your children and your husband and he will be more patient with you too. You are not the boss of the home, but rather his helpmeet. Help make the home warm and inviting. Read self and couple improvement books with him. Discuss matters in a non-combative manner. A soft answer turneth away wrath. I don't think "Don't speak unless you are spoken to" is right. I enjoy listening to her problems and helping to fix them. But please, if you already complained about something, and it is acknowledged, don't carry on about it. All complaining or nagging does at that point is irritate others. 

Try not to be the loud one. I know women are typically more talkative, and that is fine. But please don't talk over people who are already speaking, or constantly place yourself in the middle of the conversation when company is over. I am normally a little quieter and if too many people are talking, and it can be irritating if there are individuals who will not shut their yap or turn the conversation into a competition of who can dominate it.

Be appreciative of what he does. Work is monotonous and the salary paychecks are no surprise, but show appreciation for the work he does, and the show appreciation for work he does around the house. He will likely show you appreciation or work harder in return. You may write a note and put it in his lunchbox or shirt pocket from time to time. Even a mid-day text to let him know you are thinking of him goes a long ways.

There are many other things you can do to , the list is endless, but ladies, embrace who you are, and pay no attention to what the mainstream media is telling you. You have so much value outside sex or competing with men. The reason there is so much objectification of women these days is there is little else a man has left to work with from a modern stereotypical woman. If all he notices from you is your body, that is not his fault.

 

Dorothy McGuire portrayed a prime example of feminine strength in "Old Yeller"