Freedom Suckers Part 6 - Social Commitments

 

Multiple times throughout the story "Animal Farm", Boxer announces, "I will work harder" and "Napoleon is always right" (Orwell 44). Boxer constantly shows is bravery, loyalty, and hard-working nature to all of the animals. However, he shows the reader his ignorance by listening to Napoleon's ridiculous commands.

We all have been there. Your brother stops and asks you to help him rebuild some wire fence. You ask him what is in it for me. "Well, my wife will be making dinner and you are more than welcome to join us". Great, now you have probably 4 hours of hard work, packing fence posts, pounding them in the rocky ground, messing around with barbed wire, etc. for a meal from a mediocre cook. Reluctantly, you say "Sure", and cancel plans you had to go four wheeling with your friends. 

Worse yet, are the "honey do's" you are tasked with at awkward times which mess up your schedule, which you could have done easily in the middle of the week. Cleaning out and painting the garage, putting all that crap back in there is not an emergency, but your wife is acting like it is.

Granted, it is a good thing to be useful. People who are helpful are looked up to and respected within the community. There comes a point however, when being useful becomes being used. Need to learn to discern between the two. Ask yourself if there is a legitimate need for your help, and you are not being asked just because they are lazy and would rather have someone else do it. Ask yourself if they will show real appreciation and make it worth your while. Maybe they really do have a need to be bailed out, or you know that they will help you out in the future if you ever need their help. Or, you are doing it as a gift to them and never expect anything in return.

 The Solution

For all of this, there is one thing that will make your life so much easier, a spine made out of something tougher than jelly. Simply telling your brother or wife "NO" may not be the easiest thing, and there may be some social repercussions for not listening to their demands, but one of two things will happen. 

1) They will back off and respect you more in the future for you not allowing them to use you.

2) They will alienate you from them.

Either way, if you have a toxic relationship, you've won. If they back of and respect you more, definite positive in your life. If you end up in an argument, and you two have a strained relationship, this is not as good, but if they are toxic users, this will be for the best in the end. You do not need to be surrounded by people who are happy to use and abuse people. Boxer (the horse) would have been far better off to have jumped the fence and went his own way, rather than die working on a windmill than they had no use for nor would ever work.  

Have frame and stand up for yourself, even if it means at times standing by yourself.