Part 2
I realize I already posted part 2 twice, So I will spare you all here at Booze Buffet, but here is the link. It was originally titled "Where Have All The Good Men Gone?". I did add this paragraph though:
I am reposting this old article as a continuation of a series about why the dating world is messed up. This is an article I wrote earlier in explaining why established productive men are not interested in older, single women. This serves as a warning to those women out there being too picky or putting off a relationship too long and then deciding it is time to get married just before the buzzer goes off.
Part 3 - Math is Hard
Preface
Ok, this might be the tough one to write in this series. Basically, this is taking the premise of where you stand in the dating world, and trying to figure out what kind of partner you qualify for. While there are too many variables to effectively rate someone, and the data is not clear on all of these traits, I can make generalizations and rough estimates on the numbers enough for you the reader to better understand what reasonable expectations.
Methodology 1 - Weighted Averages with Compromise
First off, everyone's opinion is different, and how people weigh the different traits of a person will vary. But for simplicity's sake, I want to narrow down those traits to six.
For women (what men prefer) and the weight (Importance) of these categories. Keep in mind, this is for Relationship Market Value, not Sexual Market Value.
In order to be consistent, I will go with percentile in each category.
For Looks, a 4 is 25% a 5 is a 50%, a 6 is a 75%, meaning only 25% of the women out there are better looking than her (see The looks scale). This same idea is in the other categories. Morality ranges from the dangerous criminal (1%) to the virgin goody-goody (99%), age would be what men prefer. a 87 year old woman would be a (5%), while a 21 year old would be a (95%) because 21 is what most men prefer. For personality, an narcissistic abrasive twit will be a (1%), and a sweet, charismatic angel would be a (99%).....I think you get the point.
Now, you need to objectively rate yourself on where you stand. As for myself, I am a lead civil engineer, I am first counselor in the Elder's Quorum Presidency at church, and I have decent standing and respect among the people, but I am no CEO or movie star. I would give myself a 80%, I make $89k/year, which puts me at about the 80% for wealth, I am probably a 6 as far as looks (70%). Still in good shape, but balding and I can lose 10-15 lbs. Morality (80%) I try to do what is right, but have some rough edges. Personality (40%), I am friendly, but quiet with strangers . Repair skills 85%, I know how to fix a car and a roof and am willing to do it.
Adding that up, I get a 73% score. ((8*80+6*80+5*70+4*80+4*40+2*85)/29 = 73) That means 27% of the men out there would me more attractive than me. We can throw that on the normal distribution curve with the "one in a thousand" being a 10, which would give me a 6 on the RMV (Relationship Market Value) score. Do the same for my wife, and she would get reasonably similar results (within 2 points), hence we are compatible. If the numbers are not compatible, problems such as infidelity and unhappy relationships arise.
Doing this is a fair way to assess where you are in the market, and because they are averages, most people tend to lump around the center 4-6 range.
Methodology 2 - List of Demands
Now this is where it gets tricky. Nobody is perfect, and we all have faults. As an individual, you will have a very tough time qualifying for people if you fail to compromise. Say that I said "I will not date anyone who is below a 5 SMV", that eliminated half the women, and then I said "I will only consider a virgin", that eliminated 90% of the remaining half, leaving only 5% left because the importance factor for that particular category (weight) is now increased to infinity. Falling short for anything is now a deal-breaker. It doesn't matter what the other qualities are at this point.
Now that I am a 73% as calculated in the above example, I falsely assume that I can require all of these qualities from a woman. Now that every one of these qualities is a deal breaker, I cannot compromise anywhere. If I am at 73%, and I am looking for someone in the 73rd percentile for each of those categories, I would be looking for the top
0.27x0.27x0.27x0.27x0.27x0.27 = 0.000387 = 0.0387% of women.
Naturally, I would not qualify for such a good looking, moral, young, sweet, home skilled, and wealthy woman. So, I back calculate to this X^6 = 0.27 or X = 0.804, meaning 80.4% of all women are better than the woman you are picking out for each category. So myself, as a smart, decent guy needs to look for the ugly, frumpy, older, crabby, lazy, poor woman because I was unwilling to compromise. After all, I am looking for the top 80% of the top 80%, of the top 80%....six times.
Ironically, this process of elimination will not only remove women that I would naturally deem attractive, but it removes me from the gene pool as well.
Long story short, if you refuse to compromise, you are only hurting yourself.
Comments
Post a Comment