This is an article I wrote for the old site. While my writing was poor and lacking in nuance this is worth republishing.
At the risk of overstating an obvious fact, femininity is vulnerability. Not exclusively to be sure, but for a woman to be feminine necessarily means that she possesses vulnerabilities.
So what does this mean for us?
Physical
While both female strength and male strength occupy a wide range, a 50th percentile woman is physically weaker than her male counterpart. No surprise there.
While we all appreciate fitness, unusual strength in a woman means she competes rather than complements.
A feminine woman does not cultivate unusual strength. Thus strength-based tasks are closed to her and must be filled by someone stronger. An unusually strong woman can do it herself and has fewer needs in that direction.
Where there are men to fill those needs, women are able to surrender them. Where men are absent, or weak, or cannot be relied upon, women are more likely not only to cultivate their own strength but to value it, if only as an act of disappointed defiance.
Emotional
Men are generally emotionally stronger (or at least duller) than women.
Like most spices female emotion can be toxic at high levels but in appropriate amounts bring out the flavors of life.
Where men are able to establish & maintain healthy boundaries female emotion is generally a positive. Without those boundaries emotion either destroys or must be unnaturally stunted.
Men who know what they are about provide the environment for women to develop & express healthy emotions.
Relational
Feminine women are social creatures who prefer consensus to conflict.
Conflict leads to male-style hierarchies that wound relationships between women and leave nice girls uncared for and bitter.
Where good, strong men are able to step in and say 'no,' feminine women have the space to function naturally. In other environments women must play the mean girl game or be crushed & abused.
In healthy feminine environments women reach out to affirm each other. Good girls in female-masculine environments do not receive affirmation from fathers or husbands or I'm-a-maaaan! bosses, so they either quit, wait for something that does not come, or learn to play the mean girl game.
Conclusion
Because femininity possesses vulnerabilities it can only survive when men create an environment that encourages it. Feminine men lead to masculine women, a situation which ultimately frustrates both.
Where strong men are, women have the option to be feminine. Where strong men are absent, femininity must also dissipate.
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