The Road Not Taken
BY ROBERT FROST
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference
I look back through my life and can see a number of pathways that I could have taken. For instance, my first real girlfriend was fairly decent. We got along well but she had a propensity to self destructive behavior. I joke that she got a job at McDonald’s and got fat, but there was more to it than that. It was like she was exhibiting negative behavior (eating) to get attention. It did manifest in other ways too though. She would say self deprecating things to get me to say, “Don’t say that, you’re wonderful”.
We dated exclusively for about seven months, after three months of this behavior, I decided to break up with her. I enjoyed being around her, but just couldn’t see myself being married to someone that needed me to be an emotional crutch forever. I drive to her house (she lived with her aunt and uncle) and we talk in her driveway. I tell her my concerns as mascara is running down her face.
Two months later, I stop by McDonald’s with some friends and she is working that shift. Now, she is visibly gaining weight and trying to flirt with me. I play it cool and do my best to keep the conversation platonic. That is the last time I see her. This was in 1992.
She was my first and vice versa, no naturally I have thought back on her throughout my life. I lurked on her Facebook and she is well rounded now. Back in the mid ‘90s I had terrible luck with women and contemplated getting back with her. But as I told myself then, I already made that decision once, it would be just a waste of time again.
After several failed attempts at dating, I eventually came to the realization that I needed to become the man that a decent woman would want first. I look back to this decision to break up with her and try to imagine how my life would have ended up if I had just stayed the course. It probably wouldn’t have been as good. Getting married right out of high school and no real skills would probably have doomed me to a life of hardship with a fat wife and foul mouthed kids (no church).
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