72. One girlfriend at a time is
probably enough.
Storytime
I was never too much of a ladies man. Back in high school, I can count on one hand the number of girlfriends I had. The only time I tried juggling women ended up in disaster. There were three women, all of them were rather trashy, IMO. But, I forged ahead. I was 20 at the time, one was 17, and technically jailbait. She was probably the best of the three, but it made me a little nervous to forge ahead with that. Another was about 22 and half-trashy. She had a boyfriend, but was more than willing to sneak with me. The third was my friend's sister, 18. She is the one that played that game "mexican train", or so I heard. She was crushing on me, and to this day has an open invite for me to get with her. but she kind of scares me, or rather the likelihood of bugs in her scares me.
Well, I invited 22 to this party that my friend was throwing. It wasn't any event, just a few cases of beer and hang out sort of thing. I show up there and his little sister 18 was there. 18 was crushing on me, but I didn't want anything to do with her. About an hour later, 17 shows up. We had made out the week prior, so she got all in a huff. In the middle of all this, 22 gets up and walks out. As she is leaving, 17 slaps me in the face and storms off. After all that goes down, I walk back in the house, and my friend just asks "How are you man?" I just reply "I feel two inches tall" and I proceed to drink. 6-10 beers later, 18 starts making the moves on me, and we end up making out that night. The other two never had much else to say to me after that.
The Ideal
Personally, I think there should be several clear cut stages between acquaintanceship and married, with different sets of rules for each stage. Whether you believe in premarital sex or not, the idea holds.
1. Acquaintanceship.
This is when you meet someone and you are not sure if there is a mutual attraction or not. This is where you try flirting to see if there is something or not. You should be acquainted with several women, and keep the social circles going. Even if you are dating someone else, maintain friendships with several women.
2. Casual Dating
Casual dating is the stage where you take out random women from your acquaintanceship pool. They are either double dates, or single public dates. This is where you test the waters to see if she is worth pursuing or not. Keep the dates cheap and plentiful. There is no commitment at this point, and neither of you should be jealous about casual dates with others. Typically 3 dates maximum.
3. Serious Dating
Serious dating is still dating, and where there may be some intimacy and some investment. Dinner dates, some gifting, but nothing lavish. This is where you need to do the "six dates" to see if this woman is worthy to become a lifetime partner. (swimming, hiking, charity work, cook with her, visit family, take her shopping). Maintain acquaintanceships, but you shouldn't casually date other women on the side. While at this stage, secrecy is still allowed, but you are learning more about her. Monogamy is expected at this point, but not a 100% deal breaker. Typically 3-6 months.
4. Engagement
Once you drop the ring and pop the question, monogamy is 100% required. Also, no more secrets. You need to learn everything you can to be sure you are making the right decision. If she is holding anything back, it is a breach of trust. If she still wants a "girls night out" or anything to do with other men, or hang out with unsavory friends, you probably should not move on to the next step. You too as a man need to break off any attractive acquaintanceships. The time at this stage should be 6 months to several years, depending on your comfort level with moving forward.
5. Marriage
Once you sign the dotted line, you are legally bound. Still, no secrets, no attractive acquaintanceships, no dating others. Phones should be readily accessible to both of you, no hidden money, etc. Anything else is a breach of trust.
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