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| This could have been us 2 years ago (minus the gay hiking poles) |
Storytime
My older brother (49) (call him John) was always the cool one growing up. Growing up on the dairy, he was the biggest and strongest of us four kids. Standing about 6'2", and holding some athletic records in high school, he did very well with the girls. His sophomore year, he met this very good looking redhead, so he transferred to a different high school 20 miles away and drove there every day so he could be with her. There, he was kind of a jock, but he had knee issues to keep him out of football. He mostly stuck to track and working for a neighbor farmer. He was into motorcycles, and had a Yamaha FSX 750 that he would occasionally take me on a mountain loop road. We almost had a head on with a logging truck on one of those trips.
Right after he graduated high school, the two of them married and they took off to Florida where he went into motorcycle mechanics school. Two years later, they moved into this double wide in my hometown. The redhead got a job waiting tables at Pizza Hut, and my brother worked at a parts store. I would go over and play Mario 3 with them. It went on like this for a year or two. Then John lost his job. They bought a small camp trailer and moved it onto my parent's property to make ends meet. Six months later, he discovers his wife of 4 years is cheating on him. He meets up with the guy and beats the tar out of him. He was lucky the guy didn't press charges because it was bad. They divorce soon after.
The following summer was a mixture of beer and camping stories for my brother. He took that camper and moved it up to a 5 acre campground that has no phone, no power, or water. The only amenity is an old outhouse that my grandpa put there back in the 1950's. But, the place is beautiful with 100 foot tall fir trees and a clear creek running through it. That summer (1994), he drinks so much, that his trailer is just riddled with beer cans, like something you would see out of a comedy sketch. Soon after, I take off to live in Boise, Idaho, then to Alaska. My brother on the other hand, goes into the Army to be an infantry scout for the next three years.
I come back from Alaska and throw lumber in a sawmill and then start college in 1996 to be an engineer. John marries this pudgy but fun woman he met in the Army. She is crabby, but in a fun way. They got along well. In 1997, they move back where he starts college. They have a boy in 1998 and life is good for a short time.
Then in 2000 when he is in his Junior year of college, they find out his wife has lymphoma. Their son is about 18 months at this point, and I drive from college 300 miles to visit them as much as I can. Six months later, the doctors think the cancer is in remission, and I go to serve a mission in Ireland.
In 2001, the cancer comes back. On September 11 when the planes strike the twin towers, I call my parents from Ireland to see how everyone is and I get word that she died a week earlier. My nephew is about 2-1/2 at this point. My brother continues to go to college while my mom babysits. The following May, I get a letter that my brother remarries a shorter divorced mother of two. It seemed kind of quick to me, but they have a blended family.
For the following 15 years, they seem to be doing alright. They move from place to place. Both work several different jobs. One thing noteworthy is they did spend several years living up at the campground. John built a cabin and they lived without amenities as a family. Because of this, they were able to minimize working hours and spend more times with the kids as they were growing.
Then, the fall after the kids all graduated, the two of them divorced. I didn't know too much of the drama at the time. By the way it sounded, my brother just moved out and didn't want to be around her anymore. He never talked bad about his third wife, so I thought he was going crazy and just wanted an adventure that she didn't want to go on. I recently found out from my nephew some of the stories which I now understand why. She had a wicked stepmother complex and they fought a lot. She was particularly nasty to my nephew, but coddled her kids.
For the past 5 years, my brother has worked odd jobs and spent most of his time up at the campground living in solitude and helping out my aging parents as needed for any heavy lifting projects. Meanwhile, I have been 400+ miles away with a family of my own. He has a peaceful life up there, just him and a German Shepherd, he will putter through the woods on a trailbike, build hiking trails, or photograph wildlife. He works maintenance for our hometown, dealing with broken pipes, grading mud puddles, checking meters.
Last month, he was complaining of stomach pains. Two weeks later, they finally take him to the doctor and we find out he has stage 4 cancer all over his innards. Liver, intestines, lungs, kidneys, lymphatic system....pretty much everywhere. He is coming to terms with the inevitable, but it is difficult. He is losing weight and there is not much they can do.
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