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| Dating can be enjoyable, but usually it isn't |
Ask yourself, "What do I want to get out of dating? Experience, hookups, or finding a wife?"
Right now, my oldest son is dating to get experience with the opposite sex. He asks girls out to cheap and cheezy activities that are innocent and enjoyable. This type of dating is good for teenagers who want to learn how to interact with women, but are not looking to hook up or to find a wife yet. There are ice cream shops, walks in the park, school dances, museums, group activities with friends, or other low cost, low investment ideas. This style of dating is very popular with the religious kids who are not into hooking up. I had lots of experience with dating like this in my early days of going to church. Dates were easy to get, kisses were rare, sex was non-existent. You did not go past 3 dates though. If you do, expectations would arise. After that, you go no-contact, or be "just friends".
Today, most men and women date for hookups. Before I was in the church, this was my style of dating. Since guys are typically more horny than women, unless the guy is extremely attractive or wealthy, most women have a clear advantage in this style of dating. There is plenty of material out there in the manosphere, so I won't go into too much detail. Standards are gone. You have some guys who simp after women, lying to them, telling them they are better than they are, flashing around money they don't have, or whatever to get some tail. The competition is tough and the rewards are meager for most men.
Then there is dating to find a wife, which I want to break down into further detail into several articles
1) Look at the woman for visual clues
For men, there are four classes of women out there, untouchables, another man's girl, 304s and potential wife material. Most women are untouchables, they are everyone from your 6 year old niece to your 84 year old neighbor who wants you to mow her lawn. You do not find these women attractive. They may be pleasant to be around, but there is zero sexual interest in her. These are the women you can (and should) be friends with if they are pleasant enough. They can be valuable assets for networking with other women or for other reasons, just don't let them use you.
Closely related are another man's girl. These women are tougher to ascertain. Is she wearing a wedding ring or other evidence that she is already taken? Did she mention a guy in her life? Some guys will try to poach another guy's wife or girlfriend. While rules are non-existent in the hookup scene for some people, I would strongly caution men from stealing a woman for your wife. After all, if she is willing to cheat for you, she will probably do the same to you when you are dating or married.
The next category of women are 304s. While some may be straight up prostitutes, I am referring to women who have slept with more men than you are comfortable with. For a rough rule of thumb, I wouldn't consider a woman that had a more promiscuous past than you have. Some clues you may consider are, her friends, foul language, tattoos, her dating habits, her sexual experience (is she too good in bed?) , how does she dress in public, piercings, does she talk about her past?, village bicycle stories, etc. Some guys may not know about a woman's sexual status until they are long married and find out that their kid is not theirs. Keep a close eye on this and avoid the "sunk cost" fallacy. If you find out details that would have been a deal breaker when you first met, it is still a deal breaker, and she lied to you, which is another deal breaker.
The last category is potential wife material. Nobody is perfect, but the woman you intend to marry should be as good or better than you are. If you are reasonably attractive, you should expect your wife to be reasonably attractive, same with morals, values, etc. Just looking at her, you will not be able to tell if she meets your standards. Dating to find a wife is a trial period so you can ascertain if she is what you want. If you are dating to find a wife at any time, or for any justifiable reason, be quick to put her into one of the other three categories. If she turns out be a crabby witch, she just became an untouchable. If you find out the football team pulled a train on her, you know what to do. If she has massive credit card debt, let someone else deal with her. If you don't, you are just wasting your time, and her time too. She isn't getting any younger, and putting up with her nonsense is hurting the both of you.
One word of caution, if you are looking for a wife, don't go for women that are seemingly out of your league. She may be a gold digger, she may be looking for a beta provider, she may have some issues that you are unaware of that keeps her from forming a long term relationship. If you marry her and she decides that she is out of your league, you will probably have to deal with a nasty divorce. Stay in your lane and try to find someone that appears to have similar characteristics as you. Your chances will greatly increase if you go for the women that appear to be compatible with you from the start.
Make sure you know what your dating before you date
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