DANCING
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| Dancing can be awkward and/or fun |
THE BEGINNINGS
Like many kids, I grew up not really liking to dance. Around 4th grade, I remember the dumb square dance lessons in PE and being partnered with the fat girl that nobody liked. She always had sweaty hands. Nevertheless, I pushed through because that was expected. I learned how to do-se-do and to promenade home.
By middle school, I started to take an interest in girls. In 8th grade, our PE teacher brought in a couple who taught us a few simple moves in country swing dancing. We learned the walk through, the windmill, and a few more steps. I enjoyed the swing dance, unfortunately we didn’t do it long enough for me to become comfortable at leading.
Around this time were my first school dances. We would go there and the boys and girls would be so awkward. The boys would hang out with the boys and vice versa with the girls. Even if there was no problem with awkwardness on the playground pulling her hair or beaming her with rubber balls, there was something so strange about the chemistry that made talking to girls at dances just terrible. What should be a social event seemed like anything but a social event. Eventually, about an hour into the dance with nobody dancing, a few boys got up the courage to ask the girls out on the floor. Breaking the ice was so tough back then.
My freshman year, a friend of mine got into a swing dance club and asked me to go along with him on a weekly class. I declined the offer. Looking back on it, I regret that decision. The club didn't last long, but within a year, he knew all the moves and could grab a girl who knew nothing and twirl her around like Fred Astaire with Ginger Rogers. Oddly enough, he climbed in popularity with the girls while I remained stagnant (him getting a pickup his sophomore year helped too).
It is about this time that we started regular school dances. In high school, I volunteered myself to do a lot of the DJ stuff. Kids would bring in their tapes, as would I, and I would busy myself by rewinding the various tapes to the songs and get them lined up to play. It was pretty stressful at times because I never had the latest and greatest music, and people would come in with their tapes for me to play and it was tough to do the requests as well as do a good balance between rock, country, and pop stuff, as well as maintaining the preferred slow, fast, fast, slow continuity between songs. But, I did have some help with other kids. I enjoyed getting out on the floor and jiggling around, even though I had no idea what I was doing. Although I didn't know it at the time, the "dancing with myself" idea really isn't nearly as much fun as when you actually know how to dance with a woman.
When I started college, I was introduced to a new style of dancing. I go there with some friends in my calculus class and check out a college dance. It was dark with non-stop loud hip-hop and rap. The people on the floor were grinding on each other like they needed to get a hotel room, and nobody talked to each other, or even could talk to each other without yelling in each other's ears. Maybe I'm an old fuddy-duddy, but if the extent of socializing is random strangers humping on stranger's legs, maybe a dog park would be a more suitable location. Needless to say, I didn't go back. Sadly, I hear this culture has crept into the high school dance scene too.
The following year, I got involved with church and attended their youth dances. They were much better. The had the music volume low enough that you could actually communicate without yelling at each other, the place was lit up better, and the young men and women weren't humping on each other like at the clubs, college dances or bath houses. They felt more like the old high school dances that I was accustomed to, only the teenage awkwardness was gone by this time. A few of the guys knew how to swing dance and I was jealous of that. Those were probably my favorite dances before I actually took the time to learn how to dance.
DANCING STYLES
The fall before we got married, my fiancé and I took a country swing class together. It was 9 weeks of learning the particular moves. Although it didn't do anything for my career, it was the most enjoyable classes I took in college, and arguably one of my most useful college classes too. My wife and I have gotten a lot of enjoyment with swing dancing in the 20 years following. For the slow songs, we do a waltz which enables us to move across the floor, unlike the boring turning a circle dance like Napoleon in the top picture.
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| Swing is my favorite for fast songs |
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| The Waltz Enables You to Move Gracefully Across the Floor |
Since being married, my wife and I liked to go out when we could. However, was more difficult when the kids were young and we couldn't afford baby-sitting very often. In Salt Lake City, there was a ballroom club that we tried to go to every month or so. It didn't always happen, but it was a non-drinking establishment that had many good people that went there to socialize and teach each other dancing as a local band played. It was a fun way to spend an evening out as a couple.
Unfortunately, because it didn't serve alcohol, the place was struggling financially and went bankrupt during the Covid shutdown. Then, in December of 2021, I fell off of our 2nd story roof, breaking my left leg and putting me out of dancing for awhile. With me being gimpy and in my late 40's, I have my worries if I will ever be able to really swing dance again. My wife is also struggling with a bum knee. The joys of getting older…
On Valentines Day this year, I took my wife to a beginners' square dance activity. There, we learned how to bow to our partner, do-see-do, and a few other basic moves. It is a low stress dance, meaning it doesn't aggravate bad knees or crunchy hips nearly as bad as swing dancing can. The crowd is typically retired folk, or kids. And for good and bad, it is not a pick-up social setting, . Coming full circle to my grade-school beginnings, I really enjoy square dancing this time around. I really like the crowd, and I like my current dancing partner better too. They are nice, clean, friendly people who like to talk (some like to talk a little too much).
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| Square Dancing Can Be Surprisingly Fun |
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| Line Dancing is also an option. |
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| I suggest a new strategy, let the Wookie lead. |
As with dating, if a guy asks you out on the floor to dance, please graciously accept. Even if you perceive him as below your social standing, demonstrating kindness will win over points with the guys that you really want to attract. With an exception of the most seedy clubs, you are in a safe environment protected by the public setting. Most guys will stop asking women if they get rejected too often. But, if he asks you again and you are not attracted to him, go ahead and politely decline. You don't want to give him false hopes.
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