Many people say that modern women are not as feminine as they once were. While I can say that dresses are not as common, and dinners today involve a microwave more than they should, I am not so convinced that outside of the "strong independent woman" trope, that women in general are less feminine. The outward appearance of femininity may convey a message, but it only goes so far in projecting the essence of a truly feminine woman.
What are modern women missing that more traditional women have that makes them more attractive for relationships? Certainly there are many good looking modern women out there, I see it every time I go to the gym. Most are healthy, intelligent, and sexy enough. However, modern women are missing virtue. he can dress up in pink frilly dresses, be soft spoken, and only be interested in quilting, but all that is just window dressing if she cannot or will not hold any basic virtues that all good people try to hold. Looking back on my Scoutmaster days, I know of a fairly comprehensive list of virtues, known as the Scout Law. It is as follows:
A Scout is Trustworthy, Loyal, Helpful, Friendly, Courteous, Kind, Obedient, Cheerful, Thrifty, Brave, Clean, and Reverent.
Any woman who wants to attract a man in a relationship should ask herself some questions about her virtues:
Trustworthy - Do you do all in your power to keep the promises and commitments that you make? Do you ever lie, cheat, steal, or misrepresent yourself intentionally? Could a good man trust you without reservation if you are left alone in a tempting situation, or would you take the extra step to remove yourself from tempting situations?
Loyal - Have you ever cheated on previous boyfriends or betrayed the trust of others that supported you? Are you willing to follow your man and stay true to him once you swear the oath and commit your life to him? Will you support and stand by his side with every honorable decision he makes? Do you talk behind his back or show contempt towards him? Do you ever rub his nose in it if your man makes a mistake, or are you quick to forgive?
Helpful - Do you strive to be of use to those around you? Are you quick to jump in and lend a hand whenever you see something needs to be done? Are you ambitious in the home? If you see your husband working on something, will you ask him if he needs anything? Will you bring your man a hammer or a bottle of water when he is repairing the gutters?
Friendly - Do you try to make your family and friends feel welcome in your home? Do you take the time to show interest in the lives of those around you? Do you try to get to know them on an individual basis? Do you try to play along when others are trying to have fun? Do you get crabby or ornery when someone is teasing? Do you try to show humor or playfulness regularly?
Courteous - Do you show gracious consideration towards others? Are you polite in a conversation? Do you use foul language, dress inappropriately in public, or otherwise behave in a manner that would make others uncomfortable? Are you quick to apologize and forgive? Do you show respect for those around you? Are you complaisant and do you show a desire to please?
Kind - Are you sympathetic and helpful to those in distress? Are you charitable towards others? Are you loving? Are you a good listener when someone complains? Are you affectionate in a non-sexual way? Are you willing to be giving of yourself and put the needs of other ahead of your own? Do you know how to care for the injured?
Obedient - Do you strive to follow God's commandments? Do you strive to follow the righteous laws of the land? Do you give attitude when someone in authority asks you to do something? Do you show respect for your parents, husband, or supervisor? Do you strive to follow their righteous requests? Do you defer to a higher law when their requests are immoral?
Cheerful - Do you try to look for the positive side of life? Do you show gratitude for the things in your life? Do you smile often and are you happy and pleasant to be around, or do you go around with resting bitch face and a sour attitude? Do you give hugs and kisses to your husband and children often? Do you perk up when you are with people?
Thrifty - Do you work to make the best of all the resources you are given? Can you make a casserole out of yesterday's leftovers? Will you mend torn clothing when possible? Will you regularly budget with your husband, and adhere to that budget? Are you demanding in your wants over the overall financial good of your family? Are you able to separate the "wants" from the "needs" and can you eliminate your "wants" and reduce your needs when circumstances require it? Do you maintain a savings? Are you willing to use thrift goods or barter?
Brave - Are you willing to do the right thing, despite your fears? Are you willing to admit guilt or wrongful acts? Are you willing to put yourself at risk for the needs of others? Are you willing to suffer embarrassment or ridicule when needed to move ahead? Are you willing to make major life choices (i.e. having a baby, moving, or starting a business) when it is the right thing to do?
Clean - Do you keep yourself physically clean, do you shower often, and practice good hygiene. Do you sleep around, involve yourself with drugs, tattoos, or unhealthy food? Do you keep the house and your surroundings clean? Are you mentally clean? Do you focus too much on politics, drama, or have negative thinking habits? Are you spiritually clean? Do you try to avoid sin? Do you repent and work to be better?
Reverent - Do you show proper respect for deity? Do you attend church weekly, read the scriptures, and pray regularly? Do you show reverence for nature, or are you loud, obnoxious and a litterbug when you are outside? Do you revere your husband, or do you unload your crap on him and show disrespect as you see fit? Do you respect your children as human beings? Do you show animals their proper respect, or do you go around and pull the wings off of baby chicks?
Conclusion
Yes, this is a list of virtues penned by Baden Powell back in the early 1900's for boys. But looking at today's modern women, the utter lack of these very same virtues are what is driving this view that women are not being feminine anymore. Is it feminine, or is it just basic human decency? Either way, I may expand on these virtues on my own timetable in the coming months.
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| A feminine woman will be cheerful, despite her circumstances |
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