To be trustworthy is to be someone who others feel comfortable investing in. With the divorce rates and divorce horror stories out there, being trustworthy enough to convince a man to marry her is a daunting task for even the good women out there.
Sure, most guys will trust a woman to date short term and put in a low investment into, but that is not difficult, especially when guys are given nearly immediate sexual gratification in a transactional manner in the modern dating market. However, the more a woman engages in the short term transactional dating market, the less trustworthy she becomes and the more difficult it will be for her to become involved in a long term monogamous relationship or marriage.
Losing trustworthiness
Unfortunately, it is very easy for anyone to be perceived as untrustworthy. One incident can shatter the trust that others have for you, even if you did not betray the particular person that you want their trust from. There are a number of women that I avoided because of a reputation that they acquired, whether earned or not. Even false rumors will have a detrimental impact on someone’s trustworthiness, possibly with life changing results. The phrase “you can’t turn a whore into a housewife” is well known among men and good men who have options will simply look elsewhere.
In the absence of major incidents, there is also the day to day behavior such as gossiping, small lies, disrespecting others, talking bad about previous boyfriends that wears on another’s trust in you. If your date sees you treat others unkindly, they will wonder if you will do the same to them eventually.
Additionally, there are behaviors towards your date such as not following through on promises. If he asks if he can pick you up at 8, and you show up at 8:10, it is not being “fashionably late”, it is being a twit. You have eroded his trust. Don’t do that, and if there are circumstances out of your control, let him know.
Regaining trust
If there was a real or perceived betrayal, it may be impossible to regain trust from certain other people. I have a druggie cousin that has been in and out of prison for violent crimes. No longer will his parents allow him on their property. It is what it is.
However, for moderate repairs of trust, there are some things that you can do. First off, you need to fully repent of you misdeeds. To repent is to admit what you have done wrong, do all you can to pay back for whatever you did or at least make it up to them in some other way. Then demonstrate that you have changed your life for the better in a way that they will believe that you will not do that thing again. Then, you’re going to have to wait, and wait. You may have fully repented, and God knows your heart, but your man doesn’t. Be patient and understanding if doesn’t trust you anymore. Forgiving is not the same as trusting.
Maintaining trust
As a woman, you can maintain the trust of others in you by demonstrating that your integrity is paramount in your life. Tell the truth, even when lying is inconsequential to others and the truth is embarrassing. Admitting to your weaknesses demonstrates your strength in character. Be the same way in Vegas that you would be at your grandma’s house. What may happen in Vegas won’t stay in Vegas because it affects who you are, even if nobody finds out. Without knowing the details, others do pick up on the cracks in your integrity.
Conclusion
Most men lament about the lack of femininity in the stereotypical “modern woman”. While not wearing a dress may be a small issue, it really appears to me that the elephant in the room is not a lack of femininity, but a lack of virtue. When women develop virtue, femininity will automatically be developed, just as masculinity will develop in men as they develop those same virtues.
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